"I do, I do," Laura said softly. She could feel her own eyes brimming. "I think I'm going to die if I can't kiss you," she murmured, half-choking on her tears."Me too," Jonelle said.They embraced and kissed, at first sweetly, then ravenously. Laura kissed the tears on Jonelle's cheeks, kissed her eyes, then her neck, her ears, her hair. Jonelle kissed back, with growing passion.But Laura made no move to undress her. It was like being back at the beginning, not knowing how far to go. Jonelle was the one who broke the ice."Is it adultery if I go to bed with you?" she asked, blinking away her tears."Probably," Laura said. "Do you want to?" Yes. Oh yes. I dream of you, Laura. I remember us together, and I..." Yes?" I came once. Actually, more than once. I came about four times, thinking of you."Laura kissed her again, this time a little more aggressively. "Can you stay?" she whispered. "Do you want to stay?" You have to understand, Laura." I do understand. Do you want to leave?"Now. Even before any trouble started, we were in trouble. I loved you, in my way. But I saw our marriage as my marriage. I saw how I could get everything I had always wanted in life. I didn't stop to think what you would get out of it."A lot of the things we decided to do were things you agreed to do because I wanted them. Maybe I should fault you for not standing up to me more. But, it's hard to say you did the wrong thing by trying to make me happy. I guess if you had realized my demands might never stop, you would have said 'no' more often."I suppose it doesn't matter how much you think you love someone or how long you've been together. It's built out of a lot of things, but if you pound it enough, it just can't be sustained. Like you. If you still loved me deeply after all the shit I piled on you, I'd probably have no respect for you. Even if I showed complete contrition, you'd, I don't know, either have to feel you deserved to be treated badly or were completely unlovable except by.
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